This year Wyatt started Preschool. We didn't think about it at the time, but he actually came in at the end of the school year. I assumed there was no end of year in year round daycare and didn't even contemplate whether or not we should put him in at this time. Such a big mistake I now fear.
My larger than life little boy, also has a larger than life behavior problem at his new school.
My sweet boy has turned into the "sometimes sweet boy who occasionally loses his mind, screams, hits people (including the director), and runs out of the building" boy.
Yeah... runs out of the building... and hits the director... on multiple occassions.
Now, he doesn't do this all the time, only on the days he decides he doesn't want to listen to authority.
I know this comes as a shock for those of you who know Wyatt well. We cannot figure out if it is something to do with the new school itself or his age or our parenting. In truth, it is probablly a combination of both. In truth, it is the most embarassing, horrfying situation I have encountered as a parent.
My hope in writing this is that I can release the shame I feel about it all. There you have our dirty little secret, our kid has become a part-time Holy Terror.
As Brett keeps reminding us all, Wyatt is not a bad kid. I cannot help but feel that is a line you feed to the friends of drug addicts. "It's not him talking when he is like this, it is his addiction." But in this case, there is no addiction to blame, and the fact seems to remain that we don't know who this little guy is yet, and I pray that this is not the Wyatt I will come to know talking. That might be a bit harsh, but it is a thought that keeps running through my head. "Please don't let him always be like this. Please don't let him turn into a monster." Because we all know that kid. I just never in a million years thought I might have that kid or any version of that kid.
I hope this is a phase and that we are able to redirect, praise, and reward him out of this. But at what point do you start thinking that you have to punish your kid? In the "make your life miserable for a few hours" kind of way. It is hard to know what to do. It is hard to worry that you might be screwing up your kids. This is the part where parenting gets hard- is not fun.
I understand what people mean now when they say that your children will bring you the most joy and the most heartache. For all the heartache and sleepless nights spent worrying about this for the last few months, the joy Wyatt brings me still wins.
He still melts my heart when he says he wants to marry me after I am done being married to Daddy. When I look into those eyes, I know he has a heart of mushy gold. I hope those teachers at school see that too. I hope they never give up on him.
