We don't need no stinking recliner!

For years I have pondered the differences in West Coast and Mid-West culture. And when you boil it down, the dichotomy can most apptly be explained in this statment: In the Mid-West they have recliners in their living rooms. Now I am from Missouri, and I love all things midwestern including a good stuffed Lazyboy. However, as I have discovered, Californians would rather be shot dead than have a chair the size of a Geo Metro in their living room, that serves no decorative function and whose main purpose it to lull you to sleep in five minutes with a beer in hand.

Really, this says it all. Californian's will sit up right in an uncomfortable chair for hours with a sore bum as long as said chair matches the color scheme and doesn't disrupt the feng shui of the room. "Fashion Over Function" should be the California State Motto.

(Hand Raised) I am guilty of this. I f-ing love a recliner. It is in my blood. I can tell you the color of everyone my family ever owned. At one point we had a Lazyboy and a sectional (as big as a short bus) with two reclining seats at each end! But, now transplanted in California myself, I have opted for no recliner. I don't even think that local visitors coming to my house would know what to do with one, and one person I know in particular would have a heart attack. Sidenote: I once caught him telling a hostess at a party while she was making a dessert that included the ingredient Marshmellow Fluff, "Wow. That dessert is quintessentialy white trash!" And, I miss the recliners of yore. I can't wait to get back to Missouri for Christmas and nap in one. It's like Papa Bear put his arms around you.....ahhhhhh

I know deep down in my baby's ID he is yearning for a lazyboy. It's unfortunate that his Californian EGO will not let him give in to his desires. For now, he'll use the dog.

Update: This Christmas my mom really out did herself. She got new furniture consisting of not one, not two, not three, not four folks, but 5 recliners!!! Seem impossible? It's not. I'll show you how: one couch (recliner on each end), one love seat (recliner on each end), and a stand alone recliner. They were comfy. The best part was trying to watch Brett get out of one for the first time. He sort of kicked his legs down just a bit and huffed. Then again, a little harder. Then again. My sister starts to laugh. "How do you get out of this thing?" he asks. "Geez Brett, have you never sat in a recliner before. Kick it harder and lean forward." my sister is obviously a pro. Born and raised mid-western recliner professional. Heave, Brett!