B-O-S-S (posted Sept 2009)

So, as I have mentioned before, my child is a BOSS. He always has some direction to give you, some order to bark. He is also 2 years old which makes him irrational and sometimes a complete enigma. You never know quite what mood he will be in from one minute to the next and if something he normally loves will make him furious. For example, he loves the movie Cars and he especially loves the character “Mator” as in “Tomator”. We got him a replica of Mator the truck and he will push him around for hours, however, I am not allowed to touch Mator. I am actually not allowed to even look at Mator. I don’t know what I ever did to Mator to piss him off, but Wyatt absolutely losses his mind when I look at Mator. “No Mama. No look Mator. Not you!” followed by screaming and sobbing when I tell him that as a matter of fact I am going to at Mator all day because I can. Because I am the Mommy. HA. I know that is cruel, but seriously get over yourself Mator!


I found myself in another completely confounding situation with Wyatt. I was made to sit in one spot and stay there- ordered to do so by said 2 year old. Wyatt is potty training as I have mentioned before and he is doing really well. So well in fact, that he runs to the potty when he needs to go all by himself. The other day I see him streak past the living room on his way to the bathroom (with no pants on of course, that is how he lives when he is at home) and as I follow him in there, he tells me “No Mama. I do myselfff.” Ok. Fine. I go and sit on the couch and listen for any strange noises or hands splashing in the toilet that would warrant me running back into the bathroom, but he is pretty quite. I get up to go to the kitchen and I merely say to him, “How are you doing, Wyatt.” To which he replies, “No Mama, no come in here, I do myself! Get on couch, Mama! ON COUCH!!!!” So, I go and sit back on the couch and wonder why my two year old is bossing me around and further more why am I letting him? Because he is allowed his privacy, and I certainly don’t like anyone leering at me in that situation, so I oblige the kid. I hear grunting and groaning and a couple of times he yells to me to make sure that I am on the couch and not anywhere near the bathroom, and five minutes later he emerges, with his business done. Oh, and did I mention that while sitting on the potty Wyatt reads books, like his dad?!?! I snapped a picture of him reading a vintage Sweet Pickles book that was mine when I was little. He actually sits and looks through all the pages. Is there another 2 year old kid in the world reading while on the throne?!? He is a bossy, bookreading-on-the-toilet kind of kid- this is how I know he is ours.